Panther, Arch Enemy
"It breaks my heart every single day when I look across the border... Pretending for a moment your violet eyes were gazing back at me. The lives we lead were not peaceful, and day by day I wonder if what I fought for was truly the right battle to be fighting for. I know now you had only ever meant well and I was the one who turned everyone against you. I knew you had ideas to share and dreams to achieve and I only ever shut you out. If only I had listened more to you, seen the signs... just something... maybe things wouldn't have ended up as they did. The world knew us as super powers, leaders to follow that always seemed so sure of how they thought. I don't know if I could look down at the clan that was once mine and admit to them I hadn't a single clue. Your victory came from my death, but mine came when your dearest Amber could not continue on your legacy. I know by now you have been forgotten, nothing but dust blowing by in the wind begging to be remembered once more. I remember. I remember every aspect of you without hesitation. You live on in me as both Panther and Pantherstrike. So few knew of the bond we truly had. The sisterly love that sprouted between us as we kept the world at bay and guessing on what we would do next. Or at least in my eyes I had felt such a sisterly bond. It devastates me when I think back to that night, how The Elders had torn your spirit from existence, like the way claws tear away moss from a tree. I still sit by the border where I last saw you, hoping to get a whiff of your scent but it has been long gone now. Your cats seemed to have forgotten who you were... but I haven't. I miss you every day, Panther. I am sorry for all I caused and driving you to war. If only you were here now because right now there's no one else who can understand the way you do. I love you, Sister."
Thunderstrike, Love of her life
"Our time together was too short, Starclan had swiped you away from me before I ever had the chance to make you understand how much I loved you. Even after all these years my heart still yearns and belongs to you and you alone. The lives we had created when we were together and the family we pieced back together remain the most amazing moments of my life. I wish my entire life could have been just you and me... but that wasn't how it played out. I know you always had an eye on Thrushwing, and I wish I had been able to explain to you what all of that was. I never felt at home with Thrushwing, I felt more comfort then anything when I was with him. But with you I felt love, I felt that yearning Sapphireflame would tell me about. I never thought I'd feel it but I felt it with you. I felt it with Redtail too... He may not have been mine by blood, but he was truly my son and I have you to thank for that. Oh Thunder.... you would have been so proud of the warrior he became. He followed your footsteps, gained your selflessness and your desire to save. I now live with the fact both of you sacrificed your lives for me, and most days I wish you both hadn't. I am so grateful for you and what you did, I just hope I was able to lead a life worthy of even half of the one you gave up for me. After you passed away... I tried so hard to fill the void you left within me. I thought finding another would suit that pain but all it ever did was make it hurt more. I had so many kits and so many lovers but none of them were enough to fill that void. I had hoped to see you again as I entered Starclan.... but you were no where to be found. I will remain loyal to you, my love, until I too have faded away. Maybe we can thrive again in another life where our love is not bounded by that of grief and time."
Clear, Mother
"Father used to talk about you, describing you as this shadow he was never able to quiet chase down. He used to tell me your fur was beautiful and your eyes reminded him of silverpelt. He used to tell me I got my love for herbs from you since you yourself were a medicine cat. I was told so much about you I never was able to form my own opinion. But then again how could I? Like Father said, you were this untouchable shadow.. this never landing leaf that ran away in the wind. When I close my eyes and try to think back to the cat who had birthed me all I see is a blur. All I see is a dark nose nudging me to the warmth of a belly. I wish I remembered more, but I had been so young when I lost you. I never expected to see you here, so when I opened my eyes for the first time and saw Father instead... I guess it wasn't much of a shock. I still wish I had met you... understood why you did what you did. We lost Fern and Maple because of what you did... I don't even think you know what became of Coal and I.... because we never really knew what became of you"
Redtail, Adopted Son
"The day your father introduced you to me was the day I realized what being a Mother was about. Of course, I had previous litters so I had some idea... but I was young and rather foolish when it came to raising those kits. But with you I learned what being a Mother was truly about. The day I took you in my own paws, had you rest upon my side and nuzzle your way into my fur I had never felt so in love before with a kit. I remember your kitten breath, how little you were compared to me and how your nose wiggled in your sleep when you were dreaming, or how your paw would press into my side just so you knew I was there. You never had to fear, my little blessing, I never dared leave your side. You were so far from me, tied by blood to another but in every other sense you were mine. Watching you grow up and become the warrior you became was a breath taking event to witness. I just wish your father had been there with me to see it. The glimpse in your eyes when you looked to me and called me Mama is something I hold dear to me. I never got the chance to tell you just how proud I was of you for everything you did and became. A loyal warrior, a loving father, a strong soldier... but most importantly my son. Just like your father, you were taken from me too soon. You had so much left if you only had more time, you had so much left to do and Starclan... Starclan never let you live it through. It created a hole in my heart that I had to sit there, staring down at my clan without seeing you in it. It devastates me that I walked on for so many more moons while you remained up in the stars... fading. In the short time you lived I was so proud of you, whenever I looked into your eyes I saw your father staring back at me. I long to see those eyes again, your innocent eyes staring up at mine just trying to search for the answers I could never provide. I let you down, it should have been me that was killed... not you. I had the lives to spare but instead you lost yours to save mine. What kind of mother am I to have buried my son? My little blessing from Starclan, why is it that you left me so soon? I always left a spot in my den empty for you... because I knew your spirit would get lonely and sleep by my side some nights. Mama is always here for you, even faded away I will keep my nest empty for you whenever you need me. I love you, Redtail."
Mosspaw, First Friend
"Had it not been for you, I may not have ever dared join Thunderclan. I was so afraid when you and my father found me, cowering on the border, just begging to fins a place for myself. You helped bring me into the clan I would some day lead. You comforted me, you stayed by my side and you always gave me something to look up to. I wish you had stayed around longer, because I have yet to find a cat that could replace you and the level of comfort you gave me on that very first day. Whenever I had a question, I'd ask myself what would you do, because you always gave the best advice. I had hoped to see you when I got here... but I that is a wish that will never come true. I know how badly you wanted to be a warrior and prove you could be everything you spoke of. If Starclan never made you a warrior then allow me to, Mosspounce- or maybe even Mossfire!"
Thrushpelt, Life Partner
"It's hard to describe what I felt for you. Hard to say what it truly was... and it was hard to lie about it. What we had was so believable and senseless, I often wondered if we forced ourselves to love each other. I felt comfort with you, a genuine connection but... I never felt love. I would speak those word but they would always feel so hollow. I would stare into your eyes but only see myself instead of you. I now live with the guilt of stealing your love without ever having any to return. I don't know what I was thinking, if I even was thinking, to drag you along on my quest to feel. When Thunderstrike died I just spiraled, I can't begin to explain the devastation that riddled my body to the point where sadness pleased my hunger, and tears my thirst. You were there for me, you were always there for me. You raised all of my children, even the ones that weren't yours. When we fought and broke it off... when I screwed up with another tom you were right there again to take me in. I feel such complexity when I think of you and ask myself what I truly felt. Because I still don't know. You were a kind hearted tom who never left my side and always listened when I needed to speak. You gave me comfort and hope when I had none of that. How had I truly felt? As I say this out loud I think love but- when I think love... it isn't your face I see... I see Thunderstrikes face... I feel his pelt and his muzzle against mine. I don't know how I felt about you, and I feel like foxdung knowing I could live my whole life with one tom... raise a large family with him and feel almost nothing. I never claimed to be a good cat... for this I know I am in the wrong and may be even evil... But I wish I could have gotten it all off my chest while you were alive. I know you died after me, but we never met again in Starclan. Maybe you knew. Maybe you had gotten the hints whenever I teared up at Thunderstrikes name... or when I nearly lost it naming his children my warriors. I think somewhere... at some point... I had loved you, very early on when we were still apprentices. But the love I felt then wasn't real love. It was childs love, that tingly feeling you get when you see a crush. I'm so sorry, Thrushpelt. I wish I could have forced myself to truly love you the way you loved me... but my heart never belonged to you, and that is something I can't force to change. Thank you for everything you did for me, and I hope I was able to do everything right for you."